1, 2, 3, trouble! When the battle comes, don't run, this is what you've been training for.
Today, my eyes welled up a little then someone came in..

Yesterday, my dad visited my blog and although he didn't leave a comment, I know that he did because he shared the link to one of the pictures on this blog on his WhatsApp status. I always feel excited when I see that he shares my blog. I realize that maybe I am actually doing something right, He is actually proud of me. You know, you can coerce your friends to share your stuff all you want but your parents, there's no forcing them.

When I saw the stats from the first day, my heart sunk a little because of how little the views were. I felt like I had put my heart and soul into this and this is all that I get in return. I feel a little hesitant sharing and promoting this series on my social media because it is mostly self-centred. How do I shout that you should look at my soul? This is how I faced that battle, I told myself that this is a documentary. It fulfils it's purpose when it is seen. I told myself that it's okay to feel sad when it seems like you're not getting enough returns for your 'investment' but in this ministry because that is what this is, every single person matters.

Everything boils down to my need for validation. If I am doing well enough, more people will visit and share my blog. That's enough on this. By the way, we crossed 50k views on the blog, I did a little happy dance.

This morning, I spent a whopping 30 minutes on social media before devotion. I am not sure if I want to talk about this because it isn't exactly in line with this series or is it? I am afraid of silence. After studying, I just move swiftly over to social media, to update my mind on the actions of others while I was asleep. FOMO.
I keep getting mad at myself for breaking the rule on social media usage but it occurred to me that I only said that I wasn't going to use social media before 10, I didn't say what I was going to do instead.


I haven't really been praying on my own, it seems like I have become so overly dependent or group devotions that I am slacking on personal time. I didn't feel like praying much this morning but I tell myself that I am going to be present whether I feel like it or not. While the person in charge led, she said something, 'as believers we have the same authority as Jesus did while He was on earth', something along those lines. Suddenly, a thought flashed through my head, doubting what she had said. I immediately recognized that it was the enemy and I called my thoughts to order because indeed, the believer has been given the authority in Jesus' name.

I created a to-do list, I didn't use it.

Tears