I have been away for so long, this is not a promise that I am here to stay.

I have struggled with the idea of being called a blogger. I flinch and cringe because I can barely identify as that. Just because I have a blog, write posts, share at random moments doesn't make me, ummm, okay, maybe I'm a blogger of some sort.

I struggle with this label because I see my inconsistency and inadequacy. I see my nonchalance. I see how other 'bloggers' are dedicated to their blogs. I, on the other hand, am regularly in and out of 'vim'. I find my voice for a minute and it disappears without warning for months, maybe I have a speech disability.


Stripper: one who strips
To strip: remove all coverings from

So, call me stripper because I am removing the coverings. I am removing the labels, the layers, I am showing forth my true identity. The intensity of my colours will speak. Maybe I am a blogger too, and a bunch of things also but most of I want you to see me strip.

Why strip?
Because I don't want you, me or anyone to have a false idea of who I am. When I am putting up a front, I am also convincing myself that this character is who I am. The goal is not me, I am not the goal. I am taking off the layers not just so that you can see me.
Make no mistake, I want you to see me, my scars, my frailty, the wounds from which I currently bleed. I want you to see me struggle to walk, see me fly, see me fall but most of all, I want you to see my Father who stays loving through it all.

I want you to see God. I want you to see how He's still interested in this broken human. See Him love me, hold me, restore me. I want you to see how He still uses those who see themselves as the worst and how He's reeling in the runaway child.

This may be difficult for me but it really isn't about me, it has never been about me. So watch me strip, call me stripper but most of all I hope you see the Father.

Signed,
A stripper in training.