Today, we drink #MindBattle Day 2
20:00
I'm starting to feel like this was a bad decision. Who said that I couldn't be accountable and intentionally watch my thoughts without having to write about it for the world to see? This is not the first time that I've had such kinds of mini-regret thoughts. But what exactly is there to lose? I'm documenting my battles while sharpening my writing skills so what is there to lose? Nothing girl, just breathe.
Let's begin
It was a little difficult writing yesterday's blog. There were moments when I cried. But one thing, it was freeing. While I wrote, I was listening to music. They were mostly by Hillsong. I started curating a playlist that I can listen to whenever my mind is tempted to be anxious again.
Yesterday, I felt good. It felt good to click publish and then get such feedback. Almost all my closest friends complimented my writing. There's one that stuck, she said 'Fightingaseyo. I hope you continue. I like the style'. I felt so goood!!
I like validation. In my head, I sometimes call myself a junkie and consider how I'm hooked on validation. It's good to feel good when people validate you but I want to teach my mind that it can't just keep depending on the validation of others. I want to teach my mind that I am in fact, good.
The decision to document this journey must have done something to me, I didn't have many battles to fight. Or maybe it's just that they didn't feel like battles. Whichever it is, I'm happy for progress, no matter how insignificant it seems. So, today, we drink. We drink to celebrate. We drink to celebrate the small wins. How do we celebrate? We'll drink a glass of water. 😂😂
Cheers! Salud!
Procrastination
I had to start making a list of the things that I wanted to write about so I don't lose track of my thoughts and the second thing on my list is procrastination. The truth is that I have forgotten the context for which I wrote it yet here's what I'll say.
I procrastinate a lot. It's like intentionally deciding to not do things until you have palpitations about why you didn't do them earlier. Makes sense?
Сьогодні
This morning, I was on social media before devotion. I wasn't supposed to be. Let me give some context. I've been spending too much time on the internet and I am trying to be more intentional about my social media habits and I decided by myself without anybody forcing me or nudging me or compelling me, to not use social media till 10am. Sometimes, I get bored and because I am afraid of the silence in my head, I break the rules and go online.
Today, I was scrolling through insta-stories. It was someone's birthday. Everyone was celebrating her and talking about how great an influence she was. At first, I was very happy for her. Slowly my thoughts began to drift into how I am not doing enough. Guess what!!!
I stopped those thoughts midway. Bruh!!!!! I was so excited that I did that. I told myself that I am enough and that I am doing well. I told myself that she is amazing and that she is doing well also. It felt so good. This is how we win. To celebrate with me, drink a cup of water fam!!!!
This afternoon, another of my friends sent me this video. 👆
Furst of furzt I want to brag on my friends!!! They are so sweet!!
There was so much to learn from the video but one thing I remember at this moment was when Pastor Mike gave the illustration of how horses in races have blinders to prevent them from looking into the periphery and so that they could focus on their own lane. I think I need something like that in my life. I am so distracted by others that I easily lose focus on the goal.
I can't remember who said this too but I think it was Pastor Mike and he said we keep seeking validation from men concerning assignments that God gave us, I felt that.
There's not much to say and I was going to place an apology as an addendum, talking about how boring I know today's piece is and how I know that I am not a good storyteller but ha ha, lies. Drink water!
There's a battle in my mind. It's full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT+2
10 comments
Inspiring. Very. Is all I can say
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteYou're an artist in all of it's facets. and good artist speak for people even when they're expressing themselves. You're writing for a bunch of us ❤
ReplyDeleteIt's such an honour. Thank you!
DeleteEvery step; one of victory, the pace remains steady, and the excitement still burning.
ReplyDeleteI never knew boring stuff could be this fun. Lol
So, yes, I'll drink to that...
Keep pressing for the mark...
Hahahha! Thank you, I will.
DeleteAwesome piece. I'm so happy that I'm see this now. I'm a blessed man. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
DeleteOur battles are so similar.... Thanks for sharing. It'll help in my journey too. Fighting!!!
ReplyDeleteFighting!!
DeleteThanks for reading. I love hearing your feedback. Questions, suggestions, send me a mail gift.kaydo@gmail.com