I wasn't having the best of days today. It felt like the beginning of a 'low-mood episode'. (I just don't want to call it a 'depressive episode' because ehhh, I don't want to misuse the word. Joo get?) Lately, I've been feeling quite lonely. You know that kind when you're-in-the-midst-of-people-but-you-feel-alone. You laugh, smile and make jokes but you're crying inside. Yeah. 

Just so you get me a little more, I have to be honest and say that a lot of my feelings are exaggerated in my head and the truth is that I know it. However, in those moments, I don't remember the exaggeration, I just feel.

The thing is that I am here but I don't want to be, at least, not at the moment.

Living in the abroad can be fun, you have a lot of freedom. It has its perks, I can't even lie but every once in a while, the lonely can hit hard. Yes, I miss my family. This is probably the homesick post all over again. 

I don't exactly enjoy physical touch but some days you really just want to rest your head on someone's shoulder or sumtn'. I should probably do better and not spend all day by myself on my bed but I often don't have the physical energy to do so.

Today, I told someone that I was going to visit, I wanted to cancel. My body just didn't want to move, my soul was heavy. The irony is that being with people lifts the burden off of my soul but lifting my body seems too heavy for my feet.

I postponed the visit. I went at a later time. My mind felt better.

What made me feel a whole lot better was the second meet up that I attended. Oh, yes, I almost decided not to go too but I eventually did. It was choir rehearsals. We sang, we prayed, we ministered to each other. I felt a lot better. 

And before some of you start rejoicing that I'm back in the choir, sorry fellas, not yet.

I think I may have implicated myself by deciding to create this corner. Or maybe I haven't. I don't have any inspiration to create these days. I do remember a popular quote that says that we don't have to wait for inspiration. 

As I write this, I think I know what my problem may be. It is that I desire that all my creations be some degree of 'hit'. I need to remember that they all don't need to be mind-blowing. It's okay to be mundane. However, there'll be no mind-blowing, if I don't create mundane. I'm not even sure if that makes sense.

Welcome to my head. I honestly don't know what this is supposed to be. However, a part of me is always annoyed when guys feel the need to add 'bro' if they ever need to tell their buddies that they love them. So, this is an educational template on how to tell your friends that you love them. 😂😂😂
If you prefer stick figures, I gat you!!!

Don't come for my drawing. I'm killing it and I know it. 😂
I think tomorrow, I'll write out a schedule to help with my creative expression so I know what I am supposed to create on what day.

Today was another battle. I thought I would lose. Look at me. I won, again.

There is a battle in my mind. It is full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT+2