On the streets of Twitter, there's some lingo that I have picked up on. For example; anon, cydm, icymi, imho, tweeps.. 'This you' is one of the ones that you don't exactly want to be used on you. Let me explain to my non-tweeting audience. When you post something that you currently agree with, most often a controversial topic, be sure that you haven't posted something contradictory in the past because someone is likely to come up with 'receipts' to 'this you' you.

This is just more proof that the Internet never really forgets.

We all have our pasts. There are things that we have said that we aren't very proud of. There are issues that we have defended in the past that we don't defend now. I like to think that that is growing. The growth process means that things will change. Everyone is free to metamorphose. In fact, if there is no difference in who you were a few years ago, if your ideologies are still the same, it may not be that you are a consistent person. It may be that you aren't growing.

One thing that happens when we become saved is that our desires are changed, our perspectives are modified. We begin to see things through the lens of Christ. And even as we grow in the walk with God, our convictions become strengthened, we reflect God a lot better.

Sometimes, the world finds it difficult to align itself with this new identity that you present. The change may be too drastic or the ideas may be too far-fetched for it to agree with you. Sometimes, the church may become the one who persecutes you. 

Let's consider the example of Paul when he encounters Jesus, he becomes saved. Pretty swiftly, he moves on to boldly declaring that Jesus is Son of God in the synagogue. The believers were 'shook aback' and honestly, it was understandable. Considering the kind of person that he was. He killed Christians. His actual mission to Damascus was to kill Christians and now he's here preaching the same message. Guy, things were not adding up.

But, did this stop him? Did this cause him to shrink back in fear? Did this make him reduce his voice? Not at all! He kept preaching the gospel. His impact in the Gentile salvation, in fact, in Christianity as a whole, cannot be overlooked.

So, sis, give yourself grace. Don't be so hard on yourself. There is room for improvement. Don't allow the enemy cause you to feel like you can't do something. You may have championed a wrong idea in the past but, you can do things differently now. You may have played for the other team before but you can switch sides. Even footballers play against teams that they previously belonged to.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says "therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new".

My job today is to remind you that the old man is gone! No one can 'this you' based on those previous ideas. Even if they do, that isn't you anymore. You are a new creature. You are a brand new man.

Stand firm in your new identity. This is who you are now. Carry Jesus on that your chest well. Champion the truth and don't allow anyone to make you feel otherwise.

Sending you bread, sanctified hugs and kisses.

Your sister,

Kaydo.

Hello friend,

It has been a  beautiful month and at this point, all I want to say is 'thank you'. I have a few things to say and I have said them here so please watch.


There was a battle in my mind. It was full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This was a documentary on how I won!

Have a great 2020!

I don't feel like writing today but I am learning that I don't only do what I feel like, I do what I am supposed to.

Creative Corner

True Talk

I'm starting to get lazy about making these entries daily. But, we bind laziness! Amen, Amen. 😆

The Battle

Creative Corner

True Talk

Crime in transplantology by Gift Ogwa
I've really felt proud of my work this cycle because I put my heart and energy into it. It felt extra good to get recognition for it too.

I don't think I remember having so much to fight about in my mind this past two days. I've been calm and enjoying the moments.

True Talk

I am very sleepy at the moment. My daily routine includes my taking mid-day naps and I didn't sleep today. I feel a little out of place.

The Battle

Creative Corner

True Talk

Veintidós!

My Spanish is getting a lot better. I keep throwing the little Spanish I know around. I should warn you that it's not going to get any better. As my Spanish improves, I'm going to write a lot more in Spanish and who knows, maybe one day, I'll have a whole post in Spanish.

The Battle

Creative Corner

True Talk

After this documentary, I think the next one I should do should include something related to food. And before my mind decides to cop out and say that I should fast, I actually mean something related to me eating.
Oh, by the way, I haven't said anything yet. No one should send me any message asking about anything concerning food. 😩😩

I have bad eating habits. I don't think that I am mature enough to care about what I eat and when I eat. The thing is that I get cranky when I'm hungry. But do I usually save the planet from further harm by eating so that I can prevent 'wars'? No. No, my dears.
That's how I was even feeling lightheaded in church today but to Jesus be my glory.

Creative Corner

It's been 10 days since I said I wanted to do something creative every day. It didn't really work like I thought it would. I know that I could be more disciplined and push myself a bit more but what happened was that it didn't happen.

I'm going to try again for the next 10 days but this time, there's a plan.
Day 1: Write something
Day 2: Shoot something
Day 3: Design something
Day 4: Film something
Day 5: Say something
Day 6: Write something
Day 7: Shoot something
Day 8: Design something
Day 9: Film something
Day 10: Say something

Let's see how this goes!

True Talk

I've been trying to remember a quote so I can quote the quote correctly. 😂 Something like, 'it's not that you dash dash dash, you're just not doing the things that spark joy for you'. I have probably destroyed the quote but I think you know what I am referencing. Can you remind me, please?

I was very sleepy in class today. I guess the whole group was sleepy because some of us took turns in sleeping. My teacher looked like he hadn't gotten enough or any sleep at all too. So today was a gathering of sleepy people. I think I yawned 25 times. 😩
Yesterday, I mentioned that I had an assignment that I was working on. The thing is that I had a presentation to prepare for class today. I stayed up till almost 3 preparing. Hence, my sleepiness in class.

I had just 14 slides, 3 of which were not primarily relevant to the topic. When I finished preparing, a part of me was annnnnnoyed! So, it was really 11 slides that had me up late. (insert tears). I figured out that I could have slept earlier if I didn't spend as much time designing. But do I care? Yes, no, maybe.

I actually felt really happy with myself. It felt good to do something and enjoy it, joo get? Today, I had one of those rare moments when I felt happy after class. That's because today, there was a combined expression of things that I like; public speaking, teaching (which is really public speaking too), design and medicine.

I'm feeling a little extra so here's what my presentation looked like.
Follow up -Kidney Transplant by Gift Ogwa

I was actually feeling a lot extra so I made a whole video. 😩



Today, I was thinking to myself. I haven't been as anxious as usual in a while. We can say that's progress right? I like this. It's amazing how much control you'll realize that you actually have over your body and your mind when you decide to not just go with the flow but to determine what the flow is. Am I deep or what?

There's a battle in my mind. It is full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT+2

I'm behind schedule, again, but here we go.
Honestly, I haven't had time to think and collate today's happenings into something arranged and readable. In my head, today's post will be short.

Today started off pretty regular, I went for my class. Usually, after class I would get into 'bonnet mode' but I have an assignment to do before my class tomorrow, yes I have a class tomorrow, Saturday. So, I started off.

I went to visit someone today too. I think that I should do that a lot more. Being around people helps me feel better.

I am currently overwhelmed by a bunch of emotions. It's the good kind of overwhelmed, I promise. Today is such a memorable day for me.

The words aren't coming like I'm used to. Isn't it weird how when you have so much to say, you can't find the words to say them? Today, I'm happy. I'm reminded that I have amazing people in my life. Today, I'm happy. I'm reminded that I have the best gift in my life.

I know that today's entry is a little all over the place but my mind is a little all over the place too.
I'm happy. One day, I'll share the details of my joy on this blog but for today, let's be happy together.


There's a battle in my mind. It's full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT+2, I hope.

I thought I wouldn't have the motivation to write today. I was honestly contemplating not writing. I was thinking of what excuse I would give. In my mind, I was like, 'well, it's not so bad if I break the streak'. Now that I think about it, I wonder what I would have told my close friends because they would have asked about what was up.

Some Context

Creative Corner

First off, an apology. I'm sorry that today's entry is late, I had cell meeting.

Today was quite a bleh day. It occurred to me that I really don't do much. I legit just go to class and come back. My friend often teases me that once I go out and return, I'm back to the bonnet life. The Lord knows that if I have my way I'll walk the streets of Lviv with a bonnet because I don't really care like that.
On a more serious note, I want to figure out how to spend my time productively. I feel like my time is just rolling by and as much as I am doing things, I am not doing things that I think are the most productive.

I've been doing the Jackie Hill Perry Jude study and she said something that convicted me today. She said 'it's hard for us to pray simply because it's hard for us to remember how much we need God'. It hit me!!! I often want to depend on myself and think that I can do things by myself and so I forget to just pray and just pray.

I keep learning and re-learning that I need to be honest in my conversations with God. That I can tell Him about my struggles, that they aren't too heavy for Him to bear.

Cell meeting was amazing. I love spending time with my small family. I like to come at them with random questions that'll make them think. Just in case any of my cell members reads this, I have a confession to make. Yes, I actually think of questions to ask you guys. Yes, it's quite fun to pick at your brains and see what exactly you think on different topics.

I didn't do anything creative for today's post. I wasn't sure of what to do and I didn't exactly have the motivation to do. Well, I wanted to write out my creative expressions. Does that sentence even make sense? What ways do I express myself creatively?

• I write poems. Most people associate me with my poetry although I think I have written fewer poems this year than I usually do.
• I shoot shots. 😂 I am a very amateur photographer.
• I tell stories with videos.
• I am an amateur graphic designer. I'm coming guys, soon.
• I speak? It's been a whiiiiile since I did spoken word poetry and I think I am losing the skill but it's still there sha.

Let's start off from where I stopped yesterday.
Little brother, if you like get annoyed that I am calling you little brother, shake your head, twist your face, yen yen yen, you're still my little brother. Brother, I am so proud of you and it's such a beautiful thing watching you grow. I'm emotional because it was only yesterday you started school and now you're in uni. I'm proud of you. I'm very proud of you. I love you. (you better tell me back).

Yesterday, we were talking about taking walks. I'm proud to say that the walks I took today were the walks to and from class. I am not even ashamed, especially since I was seriously considering not going to class. See eh, it be like that some days.
Tomorrow is the last day in Surgery cycle and God knows that I am looking forward to the end of it. I am tired. Today, my teacher was asking questions and the whole group was just looking at him like 😧😑. He said, 'you stopped reading too early'. Please dear, just leave me, brain dey pain person.

And just in case, my dad decides to stop by my blog today, daddy, all of this is a joke. I am actually studying really hard. Those things you read before, that's just how we students communicate these days about our profound love for education and educational institutions.

I did create something today. I am tempted to call it something small. I almost always want to minimize the things I do. I think that it is a form of self-defense. I am always nervous that people will not think that I am good enough or that my work is 'all that'. So, I feel like if I minimize myself enough, maybe they'll see good or maybe they'll see it as not so good. Whatever they see, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.

Here's what I did...

I'm homesick. I can hear my mom's voice in my head 'you're not sick in Jesus' name' 😩 I have been homesick for a while but in recent days, it seems to be growing in intensity. It's all fun and games and life too when you spend 2+ years away from family till it begins to dawn on you that you're growing up and so is everyone.

Sunday is my favourite day of the week. I wake up early, get ready and go to fellowship with other believers. I think that it is both beautiful and rejuvenating.

Something made me upset today. I was hurt and almost crying. I was smiling but my mind was wandering. In all of those moments, what kept lingering in my heart was
There were honestly times when it was a bit of a struggle and I kept telling God that 'this isn't what we agreed on. This isn't what I prayed for. This isn't how I thought things would go'.
In those moments, I still remembered that I had prayed and how powerful prayer is. What if I hadn't prayed? There would have been nothing to rest on as a cushion. Our hearts deflect to worry when we haven't prayed. It's not like we cannot pray when issues arise but there's this peace that comes with knowing that you've prayed.

In fact, there was one thing that I hadn't prayed about and amid my aching heart, I was going to pray. Guess what the enemy tried? He tried to stop me! 'Are you now going to pray? So prayer is your last resort?' My heart was going to give up because it did seem like I didn't remember to pray till that moment. Yet, there was encouragement somewhere within me, knowing that I can always, always talk to my Father.

Today, I didn't really create anything. Or did I? Does this count?


The thing is that I actually did graphic design for my church. It's nothing much, it's just sermon excerpts. My design is really ama... Whew! The goal with this creativity thing is that I want to learn to appreciate my skills a bit more and be proud of myself and what I can actually do.
I'll admit that it is difficult because I don't see my 'awesome' but I believe that with time I will be able to see it clearly. And because I can see it clearly, I'll be able to communicate it to others. I mean, when the time comes to talk about my skills and 'sell myself'. hehehe

When I have permission and access to the design, I'll post it here. Till tomorrow, remember that prayer works!! 

There's a battle in my mind. It is full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT +2

Saturdays are for resting. Over time, I have come to see that I have the bad habit of forgetting to rest. I am always occupied. My weekends are usually so full that by the end of the weekend I am still looking for an extension. Today, it felt good to rest and spend time with my friends, to be present.

This is unrelated to the theme of this series but I have noticed that when I like people, I cook for them. Or maybe it is related. My friend cooked for me today too. *insert happy tears* *insert happy dance* Are they really your friends if they don't bring you food? Are they?!!!

Today's creative expression is a poem and I want to dedicate this to all my friends. This journey has helped me realize how much of great impact friends are to a person's life. They've helped me see clearer and live saner. They, I mean, you have helped me see God's love in different dimensions and I want to say that I really do appreciate you. There were actual moments in my life when I prayed to God for the kind of friends that I have now.

I love you. I value you.

You think you're winning then in a split minute your heel is struck.

I could leave out this detail but I'm choosing not to. I had a breakdown after publishing yesterday's entry. I started thinking of how I wasn't doing anything with my life, seeing all the areas where I wasn't doing enough. I started worrying about where I was headed if I was going anywhere at all. I wondered if I was moving at the right pace if I had enough enthusiasm towards life.
There were lies in my head, lots of them. Do you know what made it weird? Although I knew that they were lies, I was meditating on them.

I prayed. I had to keep reminding my heart that Papa loves me. God loves me. God loves me. God loves me. Sometimes, it appears shocking that primary truths can be forgotten. The gravity of such reminders to one's soul cannot be overemphasized. I love that fact that Papa speaks. His words though stern were very reassuring. Peace comes from trusting in His work and trusting in His word.
When I write about protecting peace, what I really mean is in protecting the word of God in your heart and not allowing situations take it away from you.



I spoke to a friend, I had a clearer perspective, I focused on the truth.

A while back, one of my friends told me about how I allow the smallest things to ruin my mood. I didn't agree. Today, I finally realized it. Something very small and insignificant happened in class today and my mood was affected. It was a while later that it occurred to me that what my friend actually said was true.
Gift!!! Protect your joy!! It's a fruit of your spirit!

About today's creative expression, I was starting to wonder if I had not shot myself in the foot by deciding to do this. Not because I doubt my creativity but because the only thing the cold is inspiring at the moment is sleep and laziness but laziness is not my identity. Amen? Amen. So I'll do it and I'll share it, no matter how I feel and not succumbing to the thoughts of it not being good enough. Just in case you didn't notice, that was me convincing myself to post today's work so here you go.

Mundane shot

I love shooting on cloudy days, there's just a different vibe to the pictures. I actually love shooting bare trees, I can't explain it. There's something about how they look.
I don't think this is my best work but I actually like it. Especially since I took some time to do some editing. (That's one other thing I'm getting better at)

Who knows what tomorrow's creative expression will be?


There's a battle in my mind. It is full of anxiety and untrue thoughts. This is a documentary on how I win.
See you tomorrow at 20:00 GMT+2

It is 19:04. Today's post is due in a few minutes. Let's see what I can come up with.