LOVE CRAZY

08:01

4am

How long can one go without sleeping?
How long does one go without sleeping before they start to lose their mind?
I mean, I really just want to lose my mind.


*picks up phone*

I'v tried to bring myself to change my screen lock picture, my wallpaper but I can't. I just can't do. You were a huge part of my life. They keep saying that I'll get over you. They say to give it time, time heals all wounds..
..but how am I supposed to live? How am I supposed to act like the last 10years of my life didn't happen?

Everytime, I hold my phone, I see you.
Your eyes, the way they smile. That streak of grey hair in front of your head that you often pulled.

Where are you?!!!!

I just want to see that birthmark on your shoulder. I haven't brought myself to have a bath. I couldn't. I would see the tattoo on my shoulder. I would be reminded of how you teased me, how you called me 'softie' because I wanted a tatoo that was similar to your birthmark.

Tell me please,
How am I supposed to go on without you?
How?
It was just weeks ago when we drew our 10year plan. Are you telling me those plans, those plans,  thoe dreams we dreamed together, will only remain dreams?


4pm

Max has been lurking around the door, waiting for you obviously.
I can't bring myself to tell him that you're never coming back.
That you've gone,
gone for good,
gone to a better place?

I know I don't have much but you told me that you loved me with what I had. You told me what I had was enough for you, for us.


4 months after

I guess time has abandoned me because I still see my wounds. I wish Max would lick them, maybe I would heal better.


4 years later

Who's in charge of the list of people that time heals?
Did they skip my name?
Did they cancel it out?
Do they keep moving me to the bottom of the list?

Because everything keeps getting worse.
I see you, I hear you
But, no one else does.

They took me to a hospital. My doctor has been trying to convince me that you never existed but I know you, I've seen you.
I'm here now and everything that reminded me of you isn't.

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