Some people can do things and keep doing things even in extremely difficult situations. Some people can keep up with their scheduled life in the face of uncomfortable situations.

Some people... I think you get my point now.

The thing is that I am not some people.
I haven't fully learnt how to keep running when wounded or how to keep talking when my body yearns for droplets of dihydrogen monoxide. (Someone really needs to tell me that everything isn't a poem)

For real though, I haven't learnt to keep doing what I'm supposed when things aren't acting right. I don't know how to keep up with responsibilities when more urgent responsibilities are at the door. Maybe, just maybe, I haven't learnt how to multitask effectively.

I haven't been here for 3 weeks. It wasn't because I had some difficult situation to deal with, I was just busy. Honestly, I could have squeezed some time out of my busy schedule to come to share a few things with you but I didn't.

Let's put this here like I'm a fashion blogger

Stepping out of my 'busy' zone, the first couple of thoughts that flooded my mind were judgemental. It's easy to tell others not to judge you but how do you tell the choir to shut up? That their songs though harmonious, aren't what's needed now.
My mind was loud with 'see your life'. The congregational hymn was 'lazy incompetence'. And the choir seemed to like 'can you get anything right?'

A lot of the time, these unruly expectations that my mind cooks up are as a result of what my eyes have beheld in the lives of others. How they juggle several things while I can only hold two at a time, how they live super lives while I struggle with my normal.

The truth is that I don't consider myself as super! Whew! I said it, I'm not super, I'm not supergirl, or superwoman or any other superhero. My pain threshold is low and so is my threshold for stress.
I'm not excusing what people will consider laziness, I just to a certain extent know my body and understand how much stress I can take per time. In fact, I don't consider myself as lazy, I just know and prefer to focus on one or a couple of tasks at the same time and when more important tasks come, the ones that can be paused are paused.

While I learn to build my body and toughen my mind, I will do what I can and not feel bad about it.

This post is short and I know it, maybe the next one will be longer, maybe not. This may be the end of the strip show but who knows. My heart is currently bursting with ideas that my mind hasn't thought through and my mouth (or fingers) is (are) tempted to spill. Yet, I will be wise and silent.